January 25th, 2025

Teaching Impulse Control to ADHD Boys: 10 Simple Strategies for Home and School
As a parent of a boy with ADHD, you’ve likely seen how impulsivity can create challenges at home, at school, and in social situations. Impulse control is an essential part of executive functioning, and while it’s often more difficult for boys with ADHD, it can be improved with intentional practice and patience. The good news? You can start teaching this skill at home in simple, encouraging ways that also help them succeed in school and beyond.
Here are 10 practical, parent-friendly strategies to help your child develop impulse control:

1. Model Self-Control Kids learn a lot by watching us. If you remain calm and composed during stressful situations, your child will have a living example of self-control. Narrate your thought process: “I feel frustrated right now, but I’m going to take a deep breath before I respond.” This teaches them that pausing is a choice they can make.

2. Practice "Stop, Think, Act"Teach your child a simple mantra: “Stop, Think, Act.” Break it down for them:

• Stop: Pause before saying or doing something.
• Think: Consider if the action is helpful or harmful.
• Act: Choose the best response.

Role-play scenarios like interrupting in class or grabbing a toy, and practice this process together in a low-pressure way.

3. Play Games That Require Waiting
Games like Simon Says, Red Light, Green Light, and card games where they have to wait their turn (like Uno or Go Fish) are fantastic for building impulse control in a fun way. These games encourage kids to pause, listen, and think before acting.

4. Set Clear Expectations 
Boys with ADHD often thrive with clear, consistent boundaries. Let them know what’s expected before an activity begins. For example:

• Before heading to the store: “We’re not buying toys today, but you can help me pick out some fruit.”
• Before a family dinner: “Let’s remember to wait until everyone finishes speaking before we talk.”

Reinforce these expectations regularly and celebrate successes.

5. Teach Deep BreathingImpulsivity often comes from heightened emotions. Teaching your child how to regulate those emotions with deep breathing can make a huge difference. Practice this simple exercise together:

1. Inhale deeply through the nose for four counts.
2. Hold for four counts.
3. Exhale slowly through the mouth for four counts.

Encourage them to use this technique when they feel upset or overwhelmed.

6. Use Visual Reminders
Visual cues are powerful tools for boys with ADHD. Place a small card with a “Stop and Think” reminder on their desk or in their backpack. You can also use timers for tasks like homework or chores to create a visual boundary for when to start and stop.

7. Create a Calm-Down Corner
Having a designated space where your child can go to calm down gives them the opportunity to reset when they’re feeling impulsive. Fill the corner with sensory tools like stress balls, a cozy chair, or fidget toys. Teach them that it’s okay to take a break when emotions feel big.

8. Celebrate Progress, Not PerfectionChange won’t happen overnight, and that’s okay. Celebrate small wins: “I noticed you raised your hand before speaking today—great job waiting your turn!” Positive reinforcement builds confidence and encourages your child to keep trying.

9. Practice Delayed Gratification
Delayed gratification is a critical skill for impulse control. You can build this by introducing small challenges like:

• Waiting five minutes before eating a treat.
• Saving allowance for a bigger purchase instead of spending it right away.
• Completing a chore before earning screen time.

Start small and gradually increase the waiting time to build their ability to delay impulses.

10. Teach Problem-Solving Skills
Impulsivity often stems from not knowing how to handle a situation. Walk through potential scenarios with your child and brainstorm solutions together. For example:

• “If you’re upset at a friend, what are some ways you can handle it?”
• “What could you do if you feel frustrated with your homework?”

This helps them learn to pause and consider their options before acting.

Applying These Skills at School While these strategies can start at home, they’re just as helpful for school. Talk to your child’s teacher about using some of these techniques, like visual reminders or calming breaks, in the classroom. Collaboration between home and school will give your child a consistent framework for success.

Encouragement for the Journey Teaching impulse control to ADHD boys takes time, but every effort you make is an investment in their future. Celebrate their progress, be patient with setbacks, and remember that your consistent love and guidance will help them grow into confident, self-regulated individuals.
You’re not just teaching them how to wait or think before acting—you’re giving them tools they’ll use for a lifetime. And that’s something to be proud of! Keep up the great work, and remember: you’re not alone in this journey. You've got this!

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